One more, just one more…
I have a recurrent thought at times like these.
One more, it´s just one more…
It´s not working yet.
Not yet, not now.
But the fact is that she´s back.
She came softly, a few days ago.
One almost didn´t notice her.
Insidious, like most of the times.
She´s like that you know?
Sometimes, anyway.
And now, she´s here.
To stay I´m sad to see.
It has been a long time since she did this.
I must say I did not miss her, at all.
Even worst , she´s angry and makes me be all alone.
She knows I hate being alone with her.
And tonight I don´t even get the chance to see Him.
I called for help already but few has arrived.
And no other will come , I know…
So tonight will be one more night.
One more night with her.
The rain.
Pouring…
Even him as abandoned me as well, but not by choice, I know that much.
But the sky tonight is as dark as me, myself and I.
And the night as just began…
The first Time
Today I was reminded of a first time.
And I started thinking of all the first times that one has in life.
First breath.
First thought.
First taste.
First sight.
First sound.
The list is endless, concerning first times.
And troughout our life time we repeat thousands of moments and gestures and don´t even take a moment to think in the beauty of it all.
Big things, small ones, easy or complicated.
In order for us to be abble to do them , there once was a first time…
The question then is:
Do we do it better now that we know better as well?
Or first times are simply what they are?
One of many to come?
What constitutes a first time?
- The fact that one has never done it?
- Has done it but has no recollection?
- Or just simply we get to decide what our first times are.
Thoughts of Me
I often ask myself, where did I go?
What happened to me?
Where´s the “old” me?
The one that I was, before I turned into “this”?
I find myself after loosing myself of and on.
I can´t remenber where I put my glasses, I lose stuff all the time, I ask who´s ever with me for things that are right in front of me.
Silly things, ordinary things, that happen to everyone, once in a while at least.
But I can´t rely on anyone , but me , to let me know were I went…
It´s hard.
And painful at the same time.
You get to a point that you just don´t know you who you are anymore…
You don´t know when it happened, how it happened, why it happened.
You just know that you´re not who you used to be any more.
So the question remains.
Where did I go?
Where´s the new me going?
And was it worth it, the change?
Is the outcome good?
That remains to be seen.
