Free at last, free at last

I have done my time for now and freedom as come to me.

Sweet and beautiful freedom.

Deprived of me as well , I can now take long breaths..

Inhale quietude.

Exhale peacefulness.

Everything is as it should be.

The days turn into nights, as fast as  lightning .

And the nights turn into dust as our hopes wither with the sight at days coming .

A never ending cycle, that has come to it´s end.

As for know and until the next time, Iam free.

For the keys to my freedom are well kept within him.

So for know I am free.

Sound of silence

I was asked today, by a friend, what I did in my moments of silence.

If they were few and apart or constant, like breathing, for example.

I thought it was a very intriguing question.

Even the way she asked, there was something about that question that got me thinking.

I´am very much aware of my moments of silence.

There´s times that I feel good in them, others not so much.

I supposed it´s like that with everyone really.

Never the less I wonder if  one can really say, for sure, that silence is silent or on the other hand , that silence is everything but silence.

I don´t think that silence is silent.

I think that silence is powerful, stately, loud…

I can feel it.

I can hear it.

Sometimes I have the silly feeling that I can actually touch it.

One cannot touch something that does not exist, physically, so I´m told.

My silences are both few and apart and constant.

It depends on many variables.

However, when I´m immersed in them, I am finally free.

For better or for worse.

I am alone with it and must make peace with me, myself and I.

When I can do that, the silence embraces me like no other has.

When I can´t, well when I can´t I am left aside.

But be assured that silence is many things, silent isn´t one of them.

True lies and false truths

In the dark of  night I can see the hiden lies.

At broad daylight the truth is insidious but for those who know how to seek, it´s at plain view.

You either see it or you don´t.

It´s your prerogative in the end.

What you do or don´t ….Well, that´s just it.

Believe that the true lies ultimately will get you there.

Embrace that the false truths will get you there.

Or accept that whether right or wrong, black or white, yes or no, true or false there´s only one thing that you can do.

A lie for you may be a true for someone else.

Perception …

Looking for Jack / Part III

Yes, it´s true.

He´s gone again.

Not for long but long enough to be missed.

I have finally found whom I always looked for .

For what it seems an eternity but at the same time feels like it was yesterday.

Hard to explain what reason itself doesn´t understand.

Yet reason has it´s ways and in the end it all comes together.

And so, as always , my search will come to an end.

Although he will always be Jack and I´ll always be right behind him.

That´s my thing really.

I just need to find Jack.

So if you´re out there , know that I´m here.

Looking for you.

Yearning for you.

Waiting for you.

Always…

Looking for Jack / Part II

So here we are again.

Me here and you…

Well I supposed “there” will do for now.

Everything remains the same.

Nothing has changed.

Some things have.

Little things.

I´m older.

Patience was never a virtue for me but as time goes by, I feel myself fading as well.

Tired of everything and everyone, once again I´m forced to turn to myself.

To search for strengh that I do not have.

To search for hope that I do not feel.

To search for everything and nothing at the same time.

So it´s only natural that I keep looking, waiting and yearning for Jack.

Although some part of me still remains hidden, not only from Him, but from me also, He knows me.

He can give me peace and stillness, like no other.

So please if you see Him, tell Him that I´m still waiting for the walks.

And the talks.

And the time we´re suposed to have toghether.

At this point in time, few things make sense.

The ones that do, will remain with me until my last breath.

Even then, at that time and place, I know for sure (almoust) , that I´ll still be looking for Jack.

But it is a journey I`m more than glad to take.

As long as I´m looking for Jack, I forget all the rest that consumes me.

 

How many Times?

Waiting for people to change can be a hard task.

If you expect them to.

Waiting for things to change, can be tedious.

Waiting is exhaustive.

For everything.

How many times do you say “I love you”?

Only when you expect to hear the same back?

How man times do you say ” Forgive me”?

Only when you have to?

How many times do you say “I miss you”?

Only when it hurts?

How may times do you say ” go”?

Even though you mean stay?

How may times do you say ” leave”?

Even though you mean come?

Words are what they are but also what we make of them…

Somewhere along the Way…

You will see that it´s not really true.

These are the days of the nothingness.

Of the emptyness.

So turn around .

Simply turn around  now and pretend.

You´ll find that your sreams are not heard.

Your words are not listened.

Your touches are not felt.

Your heart beat is not real.

You simply do not exist.

What was, isn´t anymore.

What do you hold on to?

There´s no hope .

It´s hard to love.

It´s much easier to spend time hating.

Who´s keeping score?

No one.

Because nothing is real.

A game, played by Time Itself.

Is Time now the equivalent of Eternity later ?

Out of Sight,Out of Reach…Into the Darkness

Alone. Quiet. Silent. Still. Uneventful.

Almoust like  one´s not really here.

It´s seems like it but one isn´t…

To be at peace with yourself and others.

No one to bother you, to ask you things, to annoy you.

To demand of you constantly.

To drain the life out of you!

Literally!

The night is good for you to hide.

Believe me when I tell you.

It is one of the safest times for you to be.

After all is said and done, and you are left to yourself, the night embraces you and takes care of you.

Do not fear the night.It is there (or here) for you.

It allows you to be yourself, without judgement, no seconds thoughts, with all the chances in the world.

Out of sight, no one sees you.

Out of reach, no one gets you.

Into the darkness, you are free at last!

Company for the evening

Here She is!

Brilliant,  monumental,prodigious, in all it´s glory!

It´s 6 pm and already she rules the sky.

Bigger than it´s usual self and knowing that my nights have been everything but restful she is finally here.

These past nights due to the harsh weather she´s been hiding , waiting for the opportunity to appear.

Since I couldn´t wait no longer, she made an effort and came today, even though outside is colder than ever.

But she knew I needed Her, she could sense it.

These last few days have been endless and the nights…well the nights have been lonely, specially whithout Her to be whith me, to listen and embrace me.

In the lack of my usual embrace I turn to Her for companionship.

In the lack of You I turn to Her to replace you , even though You´re one of a kind.

But when the Two of You fail me, my nights become as their colour, black…

Tonight won´t be like that, since she´s here to spend the night with me.

Time

Time…We cannot feel it, it is not palpable, we cannot touch it with our own hands. We cannot withdraw it and nor can we lurk in the future. Time demands us to pass it, time itself, at it´s own time ! The irony is too refined not to realize it and yet,Time is anything but ironic. It´s in fact cold, reckoning and often times deceiving.It´s the master of the universe and that includes us…All of us.No exceptions, for anyone.And as time goes by we slowly begin to loose the demanding and substancial amount of patiente that´s required to endure time itself.