One more, just one more…

I have a recurrent thought at times like these.

One more, it´s just one more…

It´s not working yet.

Not yet, not now.

But the fact is that she´s back.

She came softly, a few days ago.

One almost didn´t notice her.

Insidious, like most of the times.

She´s like that you know?

Sometimes, anyway.

And now, she´s here. 

To stay I´m sad to see.

It has been a long time since she did this.

I must say I did not miss her, at all.

Even worst , she´s angry and makes me be all alone.

She knows I hate being alone with her.

And tonight I don´t even get the chance to see Him.

I called for help already but few has arrived.

And no other will come , I know…

So tonight will be one more night.

One more night with her.

The rain.

Pouring…

Even him as abandoned me as well, but not by choice, I know that much.

But the sky tonight is as dark as me, myself and I.

And the night as just began…

Make up your mind…Nothing in the middle

Just like that , you get to decide ,right away…

Forget the past. Nevermind the future.

The time is now.The place is here.

Nothing else matters.

Easier said than done, agree.

But at some point in your life time, this will come to you.

And you must be ready to deal with it.

If you choose not to, you´ll regreat it for the rest of your life.

Some things are better left unsaid and undone.

On the other hand, there are others , well others that are ment to be said. And ment to be done.

Trust me.

I know it for a fact.

Just think that you only have one chance.

And it´s know while you´re alive.

That´s it.

Mine and mine alone

I am not at peace with myself.

I can´t turn down these voices inside my head.

In the dark, the final hours before dawn, I close my eyes and still I don´t see…

Morning will come and everything will be all right.

I close my eyes to see what I don´t when they´re open…

The way you feel about me…

When you kiss me, when you used to hold me…

Whenever or wherever you want me, I´ll be there.

Just as I wait for the day that I know you´ll be mine.

I´ve never come close , not in all these years.

The day that I´ll know that you´re mine and mine alone.

To Live or to Survive?

What´s real?

In these harsh times, what´s the reality?

For a major part of us?

Do we live?

Or do we just survive, day by day?

We lack so many things, from material ones to basics needs.

What do you miss the most?

What do you really need and simply are not getting?

The most important one?

Never mind the luxuries.

You must find out what your real needs are .

I know my ones, actually my one.

Just one at the time because in the rest of my life for better and for worst I have what I need.

And what I don´t need either!

But in order to appreciate the good ones I must also have the bad ones. 

Well, not so good , let´s put it this way.

I only have one need. It´s a big one, for sure, but it´s one really.

I´m not getting it at the moment but I will in the nearest future.

Something tells me that I´ll be without it again later on.

But for as long as I get it, i´ll use it and abuse it and won´t let go of it.

So for now , I´m surviving…

    

Somewhere along the Way…

You will see that it´s not really true.

These are the days of the nothingness.

Of the emptyness.

So turn around .

Simply turn around  now and pretend.

You´ll find that your sreams are not heard.

Your words are not listened.

Your touches are not felt.

Your heart beat is not real.

You simply do not exist.

What was, isn´t anymore.

What do you hold on to?

There´s no hope .

It´s hard to love.

It´s much easier to spend time hating.

Who´s keeping score?

No one.

Because nothing is real.

A game, played by Time Itself.

Is Time now the equivalent of Eternity later ?

Distances

They´re here although they shouldn´t.

We can only wait that after them, things will be better.

Different yes but for the better ?

And is it up to us to decide ?

Perhaps.

Maybe not.

Distance is a funny thing.

It can either bring something good or not so good.

Distance makes you wonder, question, doubt, demand answers.

It increases the lack of confidence in yourself, your habilities.

You ,as a person, begin to believe that perhaps things are really ment to be that way.

You don´t always get the answers you want, but you do get answers.

From point A to point B, it´s not always a straight line.

It can be rather awkward.

Is distance is a metaphor for the end?

Expectations

We’ll do it all !

 That´s what we think, what we intend to do. 
On our own …Everything ; anywhere; anytime.
How to say or think anything else?

Impossible!

All of our goals, dreams, aspirations…

Places to see, things to do, people to meet, changes to make.
Will you go with me ?

Do all the things that I want to do?

And at any given time, my things become yours, and yours mine and later on ours as well.

We must forget what we’re told, before we get too old to do all those things that we wish to do.

Expectations at some point have to become realities.

Sooner or later.

There are so many things …Even those that are left in the back of my mind and haven´t been thought yet.

I don´t want to let go of my expectations but them seem to be getting more and more expectations, rather than possible realities…

Going Home…to Nothingness

Some days are like that…

We´re going Home but we already know what´s waiting for us there.

The Nothingness.

And our will  takes over and urges us to fleed…

But we don´t because we cannot do that.

We cannot follow our primal urge and simply escape.

Obligations and duties are  anxiously waiting for us.

And no matter what we must oblige others and lastly ourselfs and go in there and do all the things that we have to do.

Not all nothingness is  bad or harmful.

There are those that simply don´t have any appeal.

Long Days

Today was a long, long, very long day!

It started early and it seemed endless.

It still does at this time, although it´s past dinner time already…

I´m yearning for a day, a very special day but it seems to be increasingly longer and longer to get there.

Maybe it´s because I want it so badly!

The desire is such that it seems to be scaring time itself!

It must be usual this feeling of despair at times such these.

We should be patient. Patience is a virtue.

But I am, if nothing else, Human and therefore with flaws also.

And at times as these, we get selfish and only think in our most “urgent” needs, however  frivolous it may seem to others, for those who want it , it´s everything.