Sound of silence

I was asked today, by a friend, what I did in my moments of silence.

If they were few and apart or constant, like breathing, for example.

I thought it was a very intriguing question.

Even the way she asked, there was something about that question that got me thinking.

I´am very much aware of my moments of silence.

There´s times that I feel good in them, others not so much.

I supposed it´s like that with everyone really.

Never the less I wonder if  one can really say, for sure, that silence is silent or on the other hand , that silence is everything but silence.

I don´t think that silence is silent.

I think that silence is powerful, stately, loud…

I can feel it.

I can hear it.

Sometimes I have the silly feeling that I can actually touch it.

One cannot touch something that does not exist, physically, so I´m told.

My silences are both few and apart and constant.

It depends on many variables.

However, when I´m immersed in them, I am finally free.

For better or for worse.

I am alone with it and must make peace with me, myself and I.

When I can do that, the silence embraces me like no other has.

When I can´t, well when I can´t I am left aside.

But be assured that silence is many things, silent isn´t one of them.

How many Times?

Waiting for people to change can be a hard task.

If you expect them to.

Waiting for things to change, can be tedious.

Waiting is exhaustive.

For everything.

How many times do you say “I love you”?

Only when you expect to hear the same back?

How man times do you say ” Forgive me”?

Only when you have to?

How many times do you say “I miss you”?

Only when it hurts?

How may times do you say ” go”?

Even though you mean stay?

How may times do you say ” leave”?

Even though you mean come?

Words are what they are but also what we make of them…

Always looking for…

I find things that you left behind.

Just another way I found to keep you close to me.

I don´t waste precious time this way.

Since this time, these days, I face myself without you, you broke me and I can´t feel anything.

I choose to stay but i feel myself  leaving anyway.

You say that you´ll arrive early but you can´t stay anyway.

So what´s the point?

Might as well stay where you are.

You´re either here because you want to or you´re not here at all.

I can keep having you this way, for as long as it takes.

The real question is, will I still be able to keep you, after all  said and done?

Over the rainbow you´ll find…

Whatever you want  to.

It´s your rainbow.

Yours and yours alone.

It´s one and only for eveybody but each and everyone of us own  it, like we´re supposed to.

It´s the same for everyone.

We stand down and we don´t back down.

We want it, have to have it and we won´t take no for an answer.

Not for this, not like that.

Over the rainbow we find what we want and can´t get  elsewhere.

We hope it to be real.

Somethings are just ment to be.

Others aren´t.

We fool ourselfs in order not to see the truth because it´s too hard, too painfull, to bad…

Then something happens and changes everything.

Do you hear me?

I´m talking to you.

You make it easier when life gets hard.

And yet I still need my rainbow at the end of the day.

It´s what keeps me going.

Feeling blue?

Feeling blue today?

Feeling blue everyday or every other day?

It´s been a long long time since the blues are whith me also.

I believe it´s contagious.

The days are unfriendly and the nights are cold .

Every now and then they swap but remain the same in their nature.

We become callous along the way.

Our defense mecanism kicks in.

This way it prevents us from feeling anything else than we need to.

There´ so much we can bare.

We all have our limits and although we strecht them constantly, enough is enough.

We must set our boundaries to protect ourselves for others and us as well.

Feeling blue…

The natural way to feel when one is hollow within.

Freedom

If you love someone, if you really love someone, not the person whom you want them to be and not the person that you hope they´ll  become, if you trully love someone, you´ll  let him/ her go.

At your own time you´ll be toghether, not sooner than it has to be.

You must be patient, learn to wait.

You can´t change someone. People are who they are.

You must embrace them and accept them for whom they are, just like that.

If you try to change them, you´ll only be lying to yourself and fooling them.

And one day you won´t be able to forgive yourself.

Someone will learn and start to loathe you and themselves as well.

All because you change them into someone else that at some point neither one of you will recognize.

A stranger, a shadow of what that person used to be.

Stranded within, longing to be free.

Bigger than Life

It is, isn´t it?

When we feel something that we cannot put into words.

We can´t even get closer to what we wish to say.

Our brain frezees and can´t think straight.

Our hands seem broken and cannot produce a gesture.

Our senses betray us and bewilder us.

We hurt but are not sick, we laugh but are not happy, we cry but are not sad…

Moments of complete insanity take over and we cease to  command in our own body.

We are no longer king and queen of our realms.

That is what it does to us.

No one´s to blaim really.

It´s just the way it is.

When you at long last find what you have been looking for , throughtout a life time, you´re just empty of everything.

But in time you´ll make up for it and little by little you will  abble to say those three little words and they´ll start to become bigger than life.

I Love You.

Because when you trully love someone you become complete.