Free at last, free at last
I have done my time for now and freedom as come to me.
Sweet and beautiful freedom.
Deprived of me as well , I can now take long breaths..
Inhale quietude.
Exhale peacefulness.
Everything is as it should be.
The days turn into nights, as fast as lightning .
And the nights turn into dust as our hopes wither with the sight at days coming .
A never ending cycle, that has come to it´s end.
As for know and until the next time, Iam free.
For the keys to my freedom are well kept within him.
So for know I am free.
True lies and false truths
In the dark of night I can see the hiden lies.
At broad daylight the truth is insidious but for those who know how to seek, it´s at plain view.
You either see it or you don´t.
It´s your prerogative in the end.
What you do or don´t ….Well, that´s just it.
Believe that the true lies ultimately will get you there.
Embrace that the false truths will get you there.
Or accept that whether right or wrong, black or white, yes or no, true or false there´s only one thing that you can do.
A lie for you may be a true for someone else.
Perception …
Once upon a time…
Once upon a time there was a girl.
Once upon a time there was a boy.
Once upon a time the girl and the boy got to know each other but let time stood in their way.
After time and time apart, the boy and the girl took a stand against time itself and decided that there was no more time to be dwelled in time, no more.
And so, like this, once upon a time a girl and a boy became a women and a man.
And took what was theirs to take.
Time.
You see, one might not be abble to change time but one can always change themselves.
To Trust is …
You must trust yourself.
Just trust yourself and never mind the rest.
You won´t lie, deceive, harm yourself.
Others could, would, will if you let them.
So, trust yourself.
All the deeds that you do not do.
All the words that you do not speak.
All the breaths that you do not take.
All those things , you choose not to do, trust yourself.
Often people say or think that your emotions are in your heart.
They´re not you know?
Your heart is a muscle, a part of the all machine that is your body.
An important one , yes but it doesn´t hold your emotions.
They´re in your brain.
Use it.
Don´t be afraid.
Don´t doubt yourself.
Trust yourself.
It doesn´t really matter everything else.
To Trust in yourself is wise.
Not to do that, well, it would be a waste really.
The first Time
Today I was reminded of a first time.
And I started thinking of all the first times that one has in life.
First breath.
First thought.
First taste.
First sight.
First sound.
The list is endless, concerning first times.
And troughout our life time we repeat thousands of moments and gestures and don´t even take a moment to think in the beauty of it all.
Big things, small ones, easy or complicated.
In order for us to be abble to do them , there once was a first time…
The question then is:
Do we do it better now that we know better as well?
Or first times are simply what they are?
One of many to come?
What constitutes a first time?
- The fact that one has never done it?
- Has done it but has no recollection?
- Or just simply we get to decide what our first times are.
Awareness
Such a powerful word.
And yet a small one.
That´s why we should never judge a book by it´s cover.
Not everything is what it seems to be.
Awareness…
I ´m aware that I am not aware, does that count?
I know where I am, what surrounds me, what envolves me, what I can or cannot do, but at the same time I´m not really here.
I am nowhere to be found.
Lost in everything and myself as well.
I lost my identity , my sense of self.
And I fear thar I´ll never get the chance to be me again.
Not me realy. Just another version of me.
One of many.
Awareness is for those that still hold on to whom they are.
Their true selfs.
Not for those who no longer are.
Awareness is a luxury that not everyone can afford….
Older
Older in age?
Older in mind, thoughts?
Are you still the same person that I knew?
Am I still the same person that you knew?
When are we out of time?
I never should have looked back.
Should just kept going, straight, into nothingness.
Into the oblivion.
I forget things.
Well ,not as much as forget but don´t remenber, there´s a difference. Important things.
Events that were crucial in my life…
It´s one of the most painful feelings that one can have.
It´s like a part of my life, a part of me, simply vanished.
My mind is weak to say the least.
I often play with the fact that one day Alzheimers will be with me until the end.
Among other things that the ones who love me don´t find amusing.
Sense of humor is a must.
In everything.
And as time goes by and I´m getting Older I get the feeling that although things were supposed to be easier along the way…They´re just not.
It seemed too easy…
It´s almoust strange really, to think that as I´m getting older, there are things that I have to give up…
I won´t age gracefully but I wished I did.
The all process would be much less excruciating for me.
Time and Time again
After a long long time of being away from something, anything really, one starts to wonder how things should be at that point.
From point A, that we know, to point B, that we do not know, what is unusual?
If the changes that are there, because nothing stays the same, are for the better or for the worse.
You wonder where to start, how to beggin and when or how you´ll finish.
The confidence is no longer there or at least not as strong as it used to be.
Time goes by and it is only natural that insecurity settles in.
Time and Time again you hear that time give us all good things like knowledge, patience, grace, blá, blá, blá…
What we should be told, right from the start is that Time is its own master and does what it well pleases.
We´re here just for the ride, that´s it.
And it costs us , more than we care to see.
Fear
I don´t want to go.
I don´t want to go alone.
I don´t want to go any way.
But I know I have to.
It is only a matter of time.
Ever since I can remember, it has been my bigest, deepest, painful fear.
I have struggled with it in vain.
Shame to say it but true never the less.
Every once in a while it hurts more than usual.
I don´t think of it every day.
Well not consciously anyway.
The thought is there.
It doesn´t leave.
And every now and then it emerges, just to make sure that I don´t forget.
Like I could do that!
So I´m face to face with it.
And every time I loose.
And every time it happens I don´t come out of it stronger.
On the contrary.
I come out of it with the certainty , the assurance that I´m loosing ground to It.
And there is nothing I can do about it.
One (of many) Universal Truth
A Universal truth : chidren are the future.
But I also believe that when we become parents, children demand our entire existence, our reason to be.
Every single breath we take.
But what we cannot give to our children is the guilt of simply existing.
They do not ask to be born.
They do not choose if they´ll be boys or girls.
They do not choose parents or family.
Children do not choose the colour of their skin.
Children do not choose nationalities.
Children do not have power of choice, power to decide.
Children exist only because parents, or a couple, or simply a man and a woman made it possible for them to be born.
Since the time of conception, children demand.
They want, they need, they must have, they cannot be without…
We all are or were someone else´s children also.
Therefore, we are or were , since the time of concepcion, even that unconsciously, egotistic.
And I say this in the line that children first think in themselves and only later in others and their needs.
From the time that you become a parent, you are no longer just an individual, a person.
You go to second plan, at once.
Putting their needs over yours, without any guilt, shame or regret.
That is the way that it should be.
That is the way it has to be.
You can give them a lot of things, but never at any time delegate the responsability of being, existing, surviving to them.
You´ll be dooming them to an existence that they did not ask for, they do not need , they do not want it and much less demand it.
So please, remember this.
If chidren are the future, nurture them now, in the present.
For otherwise not only their future is in jeopardy but also ours as well.
Love them endlessly…
