Looking for Jack / Part III

Yes, it´s true.

He´s gone again.

Not for long but long enough to be missed.

I have finally found whom I always looked for .

For what it seems an eternity but at the same time feels like it was yesterday.

Hard to explain what reason itself doesn´t understand.

Yet reason has it´s ways and in the end it all comes together.

And so, as always , my search will come to an end.

Although he will always be Jack and I´ll always be right behind him.

That´s my thing really.

I just need to find Jack.

So if you´re out there , know that I´m here.

Looking for you.

Yearning for you.

Waiting for you.

Always…

Looking for Jack / Part II

So here we are again.

Me here and you…

Well I supposed “there” will do for now.

Everything remains the same.

Nothing has changed.

Some things have.

Little things.

I´m older.

Patience was never a virtue for me but as time goes by, I feel myself fading as well.

Tired of everything and everyone, once again I´m forced to turn to myself.

To search for strengh that I do not have.

To search for hope that I do not feel.

To search for everything and nothing at the same time.

So it´s only natural that I keep looking, waiting and yearning for Jack.

Although some part of me still remains hidden, not only from Him, but from me also, He knows me.

He can give me peace and stillness, like no other.

So please if you see Him, tell Him that I´m still waiting for the walks.

And the talks.

And the time we´re suposed to have toghether.

At this point in time, few things make sense.

The ones that do, will remain with me until my last breath.

Even then, at that time and place, I know for sure (almoust) , that I´ll still be looking for Jack.

But it is a journey I`m more than glad to take.

As long as I´m looking for Jack, I forget all the rest that consumes me.

 

You and Me,were ment to be

There are days such as these.

When you wake up and although something´s missing, everything is right.

Everything is as it should be.

You are certain of things that you usually doubt, question.

Not intentionally, it´s just seems to good to be true, so you question them.

That´s all.

Nothing to to it.

But there are times that you just know that it is true, it´s real and it´s wonderful.

That feeling of validation not so nedeed but wanted.

In days like these I truly think that you and me are ment to be.

Any other time I do to , only I´m afraid to believe in it.

I´ll be waiting…

For something that makes sense.

Anything really.

Just something, anything at all.

I see myself like someone that´s  slowly fading away.

Without anything or anyone.

Just me, myself and I.

To keep me company.

To talk to.

To be with.

To let me know that I´m alive.

To let me know that I am real.

To let me know that no matter what, I am here.

Know that at least.

I´ll be waiting.

I´am waiting.

I´m not going anywhere.

For as long as it takes.

My only hope is that my expectations will not crumble.

And my wait will be worth it.

Looking for Jack

I´ve been looking for Jack for a long long time.

I have met him already and spent time with him but he went away and I haven´t seen him since… it seems like an eternity.

If you see him please tell him that I´m looking for him and I miss him.

We never got aroud to do all the things that we ment to do.

Words were left unspoken, affections were left untouched, things were left undone.

Time stands still as this gap remains.

And as my search endures so does my will to find Jack.

At any time, at any cost.

And when I do find him, I must embrace him, love him and hold him.

It won´t be long until he goes away again.

For this is my fortune, to squander me and my time, looking and waiting for Jack.

For he is a free spirit and unconquerable.

He belongs to himself and no one else.

That´s why my quest is never ending.

Stillness of Heart and Mind

It exists for a reason that´s beyond reason itself.
To remind us that we are not more no less than ordinary people.

When something´s missing, no matter what for everyone of us, we´re fragmented.

It´ s different for all of us but it holds one thing in common for us all.

A sense of void .

Usually implies memories, important ones, beautiful memories that we do not whish to forget.

Nostalgia, longing has an amazing hability to give us hope, in our own most darkest moments.

And it also gives us confort throughout our memory lane, when we wander through the valley of our memories.

Nostalgia free us to the expected, the wanted, while at the same time it imprison us in a place whithout bars.

And escaping is not always our gold, as it alows us to survive until we are  complete again.

The confort that we find in longing is simply the desire that we have in feeling  fulfilled again.

Yearning for…

What to do when all of you is falling apart?

If somebody knows the answer to this, please tell me.

I really need to know.

I´m without myself, lost in a maze that my own mind has built to rescue me.

Rescue me ,as stupid as it may seem, from me, myself and I.

We have the hability to become our  worst enemy, in the darkest hours.

Hum…

What we have we don´t want and what we want we don´t have!

Funny how sometimes things work out for some people, me included as well.

I have spent literally years of my life wanting and not getting.

Now I still want , I have and It´s not enough.

How can this be? 

As the feeling, the yearning grows, so does increase our will,our desire,  yes.

But now I still want and have, so how come it isn´t enough anymore?

It is possible to want something (or someone) with every fiber in your body, that you get the feeling of being torned apart?

Due to the inability of feeling complete?

No matter how much you get, you always want more?

How much is enough?

What do you / I/ we  need to be trully happy?

Right now, all I need is You.

Something Sweet for My sweet